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I am slowly coming back from the abyss. I am not as doom or gloom as I was a week ago. In fact, I just spoke to DragonGate last night and it felt like there is hope for me once again.

Dragon, I know you might be reading this and I want to say that I am sorry for acting like an asshole the last few weeks. I feel quickly into a depression and while that is no excuse, I just wanted to let you know my frame of mind.

I am still in financial trouble. If I can’t get a job by the end of this week, bills will start to go unpaid and that’s not good. I wish there was some way of getting an advance on my income tax return quicker. Time is currently not my friend and I am running out of it quickly.

Well, see ya’ later!
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Obama was sworn into office today. I do not really care beyond that it is finally over. I am sick to death of hearing that man’s name. There has to be something else to talk about.

Don’t get me wrong, I do not have anything against Obama personally. I do disagree with the man and voted against him. However I have my own problems and Dear Leader doesn’t hold much of my attention right now. It’s time to move on now.

Well, see ya’ later!
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I honestly look forward to the end of the world. I can’t kill myself, so I need the universe to destory the world and take me with it. I have no money, no friends, no job, no lover, no self-respect, and no future.

Strangly enough this is the basis of a story I am writing. Yes, the deepest depression I have had in some time is the inspiration enough to get me writing again. I don’t think there will be a happy ending to this story.

I also got into contact with an old friend of both me and DragonGate. He said something might have happen to her. I would argue the point, but she hasn’t updated her blog in some time (note: I just checked Vox and it seems her page is down) and he might have a point. Until I know for sure, I am just going to assume that she is doing the right thing and is ignoring me. I know I should stop talking about her, but damnit I love her so much. I would walk through hell itself just to be with her.

Well, see ya’ later!
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That is what it is. I was born under a bad sign. I’m in deep debt (and getting deeper by the minute). Now the one bright spot in my universe doesn’t want to talk to me. I may also be forced to close my website.

The worest part of it all, is that I did this to myself. Everything. I can blame no one but myself. I am a failure and I will always be a failure. I’m glad Dragon is no longer talking to me, I would only drag her down and I don’t want to do that to her. She is better off without me. It would be extremely selfish of me to inflict myself on her.

In some sick way, I can see the alure of socialism. Guarantee employment and the government taking care of you in every way. Where’s my bailout, Obama? Hope and change… If I don’t have a job by the 21st of Januray, I am going to hold you personally responsible!

Well, see ya’ later!
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Ok, so I completed the class at Liberty Tax today in order to become a Tax Preparer. Since I live in Florida and we don’t have any state income tax, we focused on federal income tax. It’s very interesting stuff and you won’t believe the kinds of deductions and/or credits you can get. I have to admit, I at first thought this tax preparing was a racket. However after learning what I know, I now know the average tax payer does not know everything they should know about federal taxes. I highly suggest you check out Liberty Tax and see what they can do for you.

I also came home intending to just take a nap but slept until just a few minutes ago. My sleep cycle is so out of wack it’s not even funny. I guess that is what I get for letting my work control me. This won’t happen with this job, but they are only open normal business hours and I don’t have too much to worry about. This is also a way to tie me over until I can find something better. Wish me luck.

I also think I alienated DragonGate. I sent a series of really emotionally pathetic emails. I feel bad because I am not normally like that, I was in a bad place at the time and I have started to sober from my depression. I wish I can take them back.

Well, see ya’ later!
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Yay, 2009! I know this post is three days late, but this has been the best new year ever and I have been having the best fun ever! [/sarcasm]

Eh, it’s been a hell of a three days that I would like to forget. Here’s hoping Monday brings a new week and a new year for me.

Well, see ya’ later!
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